It is not ‘innocence’, it is ‘stupidity’ !

Have you ever come across people who pretend that they do not know or do not understand certain things because knowing these things makes one ‘bold’ (whatever that means) ?

You might have, at some point of your life, especially if you live in a society where sex is a taboo. I have had this glorious opportunity, more than once.

I do not understand why people, especially young women, think that not understanding what a vagina or a penis or sex is, makes them look ‘innocent’.

Well, my sincere apologies for sounding rude, but your ‘innocence’ is cringe-worthy and irritating.

And, I am not exaggerating any of it. A couple of days back, a friend called me up to ‘know’ what these things are. She’s 21 and she’s a law student. She was studying the rape laws and the words ‘vagina’, ‘penis’, ‘urethra’, ‘sexual intercourse’ etc. were bothering her because these are ‘bad words’ and she didn’t know what these were because she did not have biology in school.
Yeah, right. I don’t know what continents and oceans are because I didn’t have geography in school.

Ladies, you’d have my sympathies (and others’ too, I assume) if you were 10 but since you are not, kindly behave like it and show some mercy on our facial muscles. They really don’t like to frown. And frankly, playing dumb just doesn’t look cute!
(No offense but this was for the lovely ladies that do this. The ones that know themselves that they do this.)

I am not denying that there are genuine women who actually do not understand such things. Of course there are, and they need to make themselves aware of such basic things. But I am not talking about them here.

I think a lot of this comes from the patriarchal society we live in, that teaches women to remain chaste and labels any women who defies the norms, as a ‘bad woman’.
Women need to understand that they are the ones in control of their own sexuality and there is nothing ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’ about wanting to be open about it.

Please share these things with them if you know any ‘dumbsels’ in distress. They’ll find you blunt and rude but they’ll eventually grow up and understand that you were right. Plus, you can save yourselves from watching them overact.

– Deepti Nair


Image source : Google


Black bag? Why?

How does it feel when you start observing that all of a sudden, some routine things have become problematic in an ‘I-dare-you-to-change-me’ way?

I feel amazed that my eyes have not yet ascended into my head, despite the extensive eye-rolling I have been doing lately.

is undeniably a very charming colour, if you can actually see its beauty. But there is something about it that pricks my eyes everytime I go out to buy a pack of sanitary napkins. Or is it something else?
I remember this one time I went for this act of indecency, to a nearby general store because I had to get some kitchen stuff too. I got all the purchases together, paid the bill and asked the shopkeeper to pack everything in a polybag. (I would have asked for a paperbag if I didn’t know the shop well enough to know that there wouldn’t be one).
“Chhotu andar se ek-do kaali wali polythene le aa”, commanded the shopkeeper to his helper, while packing the other things in a white polybag and I guess I might have stared the shopkeeper long enough for him to think me as crazy. I do that very often. Why go through the extra trouble of getting a black polybag for an innocent pack of sanitary napkins?
It is not the colour ‘black’, nor it is the negativity we assume to have been associated with the colour, but it is the strict distinction we observe and the stigma associated with the simple biological process of menstruation. This is just one of the imageries of that, of meagre importance perhaps.

Women are expected to keep quiet and be reserved when it comes to menstruation, as if it is something to be ashamed of, while it is a process as natural as breathing or eating, the only difference being that it is absent in men and perhaps that is why, someone thought it to be appropriate to not talk about it and keep women from talking about it. Because, quoting Aristotle, “Women are deformed men”.

21st century and high time that we start perceiving women as ‘women’ and not ‘non-men’. Shall we?

 – Deepti Nair