Midnight.

It is either the dimly lit room or he has actually started working out. His outline is more pronounced than the last time he was here.
There is a hickey just above his collar bone.
“Marking territory, are you?”, He had asked playfully.
“No”, I had said.

It would fade away in a few days.

“You know, you look like the only upright pillar in a city in the wake of a war, whenever you say No.”
“Ruined, you mean?”, My gaze fixed on him.
“Strong, I mean.”

I want to tell him that endurance isn’t really a choice you make. It is what you stamp across your heart when the alternative is too terrifying. When you’re not an apartment or a school, but a god-damned monument that either stays chipped or is bound to lose some intangible part of itself during the restoration.

Instead, I just look at him close his eyes and lie on his back, pouting, the way he goes to sleep after sex. I wish we would do it again.
The darkness outside the bedroom has grown a little more silent, except for the wall clock. It keeps ticking like forever and perfection aren’t both jokes.
I want to caress his beautiful face and kiss him everywhere, starting from his lips.

Instead, I pull out my pillow from under his arm and walk out, half naked, to the threshold of the balcony.

-Deepti Nair

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Much love ❤